Being a Mom Sometimes Sucks

This is a real-life post...and maybe not a pretty one at that! I think I deleted and re-wrote this about 500 times. So if that doesn't scare you off, continue reading...

Hey, can we talk real for a minute? I'm a full time mom to my sweet little adorable children, 5 years and 2 years old. I love them to the moon and the stars and beyond and back again. I would do anything for them, anything at all. And I have.

Sometimes though? Sometimes being a mom really sucks. There. I said it.

I have so much guilt that comes with just even thinking those words! We wanted kids for so long, went through a loss, and years of negative pregnancy tests. Honestly, all I've ever wanted to "be" is a mom. But sometimes? It really sucks.

I said those words to a friend recently, "being a mom really sucks sometimes" - a mom that has been through it and is now on the other side of it - and she responded with so much love and really made me think... If more of us moms would truly admit to one another (or maybe even to ourselves) just how hard the mom thing really is, maybe we could pull through it together? I mean really admit just how ugly and in the trenches it can be. Not just post a fake staged Instagram photo of like 5 dirty dishes in your sink with the caption "my kitchen is such a disaster today". No. I mean the real deal. Like the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes and spilling onto the counters, the dishes that have been sitting in there for the past 2 or 3 or 4 days because your energy is zapped. Why? because the toddler is having a sleep regression again, and/or because the 5 year old has a cold, so you literally got maybe 2 or 3 hours of full sleep...for the entire week. You feel and look like a zombie. So those dishes in the sink? Screw 'em. They can wait! As long as you can find a clean coffee mug, what's the rush?

Leggings and coffee. Two things I never would have guessed in a million years would be such a large part of my existence as a mom. But coffee for survival literally, and leggings because, leggings! Yes, I save those pretty and expensive leggings for leaving the house, which doesn't happen often. Most days I'm in a rotation of a couple pairs that have holes, but they are comfy and allow full movement so I can do yoga at home chase after the kids and (not) clean the house.  Speaking of cleaning the house, do any other moms ever feel like you're up to your elbows in poop and other disgusting bodily fluids? Throw in a couple of pets, and it feels like I work at a three ring circus shoveling poop all day. I mean seriously, the other day I walked around with poop on my shirt and didn't even know it until I was already driving down the road in my car and was wondering why it smelled like poop. "Oh hey, it's just me, with poop on my shirt". Lovely. If that's not a metaphor for life, then I don't know what is!

But in all seriousness, the mom thing is hard. It sucks. For all the lovey dovey smooshy warm fuzzy Hallmark moments, there are a million others that make you want to crawl into the kitchen pantry and hide out with a bag of chocolate and some tacos. I wish I had words of wisdom to help you if you're feeling the same way. I really don't! I know, so helpful right? But you aren't alone. I'm right here with you in the trenches covered in poop (both literally and figuratively). I think it's a safe bet that every mom out there is also with us in the trenches, even if they don't want to admit it. I do know that there are moms that have come out on the other side...they survived, and we will to! But in the meantime, it's OK to admit guilt-free that the mom thing sometimes, really, actually sucks. Supposedly the first step to recovery is acknowledging the problem, so confronting that motherhood isn't just a bunch of sunshine and rainbow unicorns is the first step. There is no perfection in motherhood!

My church has a mom's group. When my oldest was about 2.5, we started going. I can't tell you how amazing it was (and is) to just be around other moms for a couple of hours. Just to be with other people going through the same thing was oddly supportive, even if the hard stuff wasn't discussed. To be able to connect and look into another mom's face and recognize that she is also dealing with the crazy crap-shoot of motherhood, and know that we aren't alone. We each have our own unique path to go through, but knowing that every mom out there is also going through her own parallel path is oddly supportive and encouraging.

I don't have any inspiring Bible scriptures or quotes to share. If you Google, plenty will pop up. But I do want you to know that you aren't alone. Lean on your faith and God for sure! But also know that there are moms all around you that are also feeling the same way you are, and we are here for you. We've got your back, each other's backs. It's OK to have moments of feeling completely overwhelmed and wonder what the heck you got yourself into by having kids. It's OK to want to scream into your pillow and cry ugly tears of frustration. Its OK to wear leggings all day long every day. Have your moments. It's OK. But please know that you have a community of moms all around you that have been there, or are there now. Take some time for yourself...let your kids watch TV while you take a shower. Let them destroy their bedroom with toys while you drink your (still hot) coffee. It's going to be OK. You're not alone. These are the days of  the raw, gritty, and real. They're the "labor" days of motherhood...the painful contracting, squeezing, suffocating and overwhelming days followed by sheer joy and elation and bursts of love. You can and you will get through this. Having hard moments doesn't mean you love your children any less, it just means you're a normal mom!

Being a mom sometimes sucks...and it's OK to say it.

You can print this out and tape it up on your bathroom mirror to remind you that you're not alone in this mom journey.